Couples Intensive

Couples Intensives are a powerful medicine. Go deep and stay deep until the needed change happens

A Couples Intensive offers an opportunity for accelerated change. It is 6 months of therapy condensed into 3 days. Intensives allow for space and time to go much deeper than weekly sessions can ever allow for. You are igniting change in your relationship that can continue long after the intensive ends.

Couples Intensives are for you if any of the following true:

You need immediate change in your relationship. You simply cannot tolerate the status quo any longer.
You are caught in painful patterns of distress with your partner that you watch play out every single day.
You are facing an immediate situation or life circumstances that needs resolving sooner rather than later.
You have tried other traditional approaches to couples therapy without much success.
Weekly therapy hasn’t worked well for you.
You don’t have 6 months; you needed change yesterday.
Timing! Your relationship is at an inflection point and you need a professional who knows how to make use of it.

How does it work? In the intensive, I use Relational Life Therapy, which is known for its quick results and effectiveness. I lead couples through a 3 day sequence that roughly corresponds to 3 phases of the work we will do together:

PHASE 1 / DAY 1

Data Gathering & Relationship Assessment

I listen to what each of your goals and priorities are for our time together. I gather information from each of you in order to get a full understanding of your dysfunctional relationship dynamic and what each of you does to perpetuate it. I seek to know where and why you learned to do this behavior that perhaps once served you as a child in your family of origin but now has become unhelpful in your current relationship.

This phase culminates in my reflecting back to you all that I have learned including your unique dysfunctional relational dance. I then provide an overview of the personal work that each of you will need to do in order to change your negative dynamic and I will ask if you are willing to do that work in our subsequent time together. I will also provide guidance on how to stop destructive cycles of conflict.

PHASE 2 / DAY 2

A Deeper Dive into Past Trauma

Using the day prior as a launchpad, we explore your unique past trauma that is contributing to your part of the dysfunctional relational dance. Through this, you start to develop your capacity for “relational mindfulness” which is the primary and key ingredient in starting to shift your relational dynamic. We build your capacity to access and find steadiness in your wise adult self.

PHASE 3 / DAY 3

How To Be Relational

We build on your relational mindfulness that you developed the previous day through learning skills and tools to sustain healthy intimacy. You are taught and coached on how to practice fundamentals such as how to take accountability effectively, how to express empathy for your partner, how to show vulnerability of your own feelings and needs. You will learn how to skillfully use winning strategies and let go of your losing strategies.

What will you receive?

An opportunity for healing past trauma that has been negatively impacting your relationship
Resolution around specific topics that have been a longstanding challenge to the relationship (e.g. stay together or not, parenting differences, intimacy challenges, etc).
Clarity of your role in the unique dysfunctional dance with your partner, along with tricks and tips on how to do something different.
Increased ability for how to practice accountability to foster repair with your partner.
Accessing grace for both yourself and your partner as you adopt a Relational Recovery mindset into your relationship.
Greater understanding and compassion for your partner’s past trauma and how it has negatively impacted them.
Learning “Soft-Power”: How to be honest AND kind with your partner.

Customized skills for cultivating a new, more intimate, dynamic between you and your partner.
Developing confidence in practicing Relational Mindfulness to “self-parent” non-relational parts of yourself.
Recognizing unhealthy self-esteem as shame and/or grandiosity
Improved capacity for practicing your personal boundaries.
Recommendations and planning for future relational and individual work in order to sustain the change from the intensive
Conscious uncoupling and possible coparenting planning (if relevant) if that is the direction your intensive goes.
After the conclusion of the intensive, you will receive a personalized letter from Jeremy narrating the highlights and themes of what was covered during our time together.

Nuts & Bolts

3 day intensive is standard (1 or 2 day intensives may be possible, depending upon need and scheduling)
$5,000 per 3-day intensive (50% deposit required)
In-person only
Can happen during the week on Tuesday-Thursday or occasionally on weekends Friday-Sunday
Takes place in Portland, Oregon office (or Jeremy can travel to you for daily fee plus traveling costs)
Daily schedule: 3 hour sessions in the morning and in the afternoon with 2 hours for lunch (e.g. 9am-12pm & 2pm-5pm)
Available to both new and current clients

Schedule an Initial Consultation

Contact

Email: [email protected]

Phone: (503) 451-3859

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Couples Intensive